Conheci a Francesca em outro documentário. Depois procurei por ela.
Não sei dizer ao certo o que as fotos dela deixaram em mim. Mas posso dizer que não foram embora.
Ficou uma certeza: a de que é uma arte linda para uma vida triste demais.
Passei dias pensando em como alguém tão jovem e com tanto talento poderia escolher a própria morte.
E entendi essa decisão estava ligada também ao trabalho e a obsessão por fazer algo grandioso e reconhecido.
Muitas coisas só os pais chegaram a ver.
Ela era filha de artistas e foi natural ter um olhar e uma expressão que fizesse jus ao talento deles.
Era frágil, obcecada e vibrava nos videos que encontrei quando gostava de algo que fazia. E gostava pouco.
Foram 22 anos só, mas uma produção forte, limpa, refinada, e que já nasceu com ela. Uma delicadeza triste, às vezes fúnebre. Muitas obras impublicáveis.
Uma beleza sem tamanho o trabalho dela.
Me peguei pensando sobre essa expectativa que a gente tem sobre nós mesmos, e sobre o que é ter sucesso.
Em quanto isso está ligado ao dinheiro, aos “likes” ou uma galeria implorando para ter suas obras nela.
E juntei com uma frase do John Adams onde ele dizia que “nós somos soldados para que nossos filhos sejam fazendeiros, e nossos netos sejam poetas’.
Pensei na minha criação, e entendi que nossos pais foram soldados. O que eles tinham era a força bruta e muito pouco para fazer ser muito.
Nós tivemos a chance de ir para escola, de viver uma parte muito pequena do que era a vida no campo… Ouvimos nossa infância toda que precisávamos estudar porque isso nunca seria tirado de nós.
Sem saber, nossos pais nos queriam poetas. Pessoas que poderiam escolher. Que poderiam ousar ser mais donos de suas escolhas. Mas nos criaram como fazendeiros. Dizendo que tudo que a gente começa, tem que terminar. Que precisamos ser coerentes com o que falamos e fazemos. Que antes de colher, é preciso plantar. Que não dava pra desistir no primeiro não. E que trabalho era forma de dignidade primeiro, e com sorte, de prazer depois.
Para gente, trabalhar era necessidade, e devagar, virou conquista.
Talvez por isso tenha sido mais fácil entender essa linha que divide nossa geração das que vieram depois.
Preparados para serem poetas, muitos sofrem com tantas possibilidades e todas as cobranças ao redor disso. Sofrem com a necessidade de fazer sucesso no primeiro emprego; na primeira escolha. De fazer dinheiro amando a jornada. Se frustram, e muitas vezes, desistem.
Francesca se foi em 1981. Criada para ser poeta. E foi.
Mas junto com sua arte, uma cobrança sem tamanho. Dela, da família. Da expectativa que ela se saísse muito melhor que os pais, e fizesse arte virar fortuna. Virar fama.
Ela só fez sucesso quando foi embora. Quando desistiu de sentir tanto, e de não saber mais como lidar com algo tão grande dentro dela.
Uma pena, Francesca Woodman.
Queria ter visto mais de você.
Especialmente agora.
Christiane e Liliane Coelho são irmãs gêmeas. Uma é fotógrafa com alma de escritora. A outra, redatora criativa que está realizando o sonho de escrever seu primeiro livro. 
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