Uma reforma é um paralelo com a vida.
Era 20 dezembro.
Meu computador estava na bancada da cozinha. Alta demais.
Trabalhava 18 horas ali, olhando para aquela bagunça e sentindo poeira nos cabelos, no rosto, nos pés…
6 meses de uma reforma que era para terminar em 1.
Liguei o computador e não queria ouvir música. Não queria letras. Não queria dançar no ritmo de nada. Só queria reagir, mas sabia que se fizesse isso, teria que recomeçar, e talvez com pessoas novas e obra parada. Mais uma vez.
Então, alguma página aberta da máquina carregou de novo, e continuei perdida, pensando como seria trabalhar no dia 24 e ficar longe de todo mundo – de novo – , e ainda, voltar para essa casa que eu não reconhecia.
E uma hora, com música feia de comercial do Youtube, comecei a chorar. Era muito. Era tudo: raiva, cansaço, impotência. Me senti presa a todas as coisas que eu gostava de fazer, e que naquela hora pareciam só obrigação.
Me detestei por ter entendido que fotografar na véspera de Natal seria solução. E doeu quando pensei que o papai havia dito que este seria o último dele.
Então, alguma chave mudou. Uma certeza veio como escrita na minha cabeça: eu não iria mais aceitar ser menos do que poderia. Eu não iria mais ser refém dos medos que eu tinha. O mundo acontecia. Minha profissão. A empresa. Tudo aparentemente ia bem.
E uma reforma em casa me fez perceber que eu não.
Esse negócio de reforma é um paralelo com a vida. Onde a gente cobre e descobre. Onde fortalece a fundação. Onde fecha ou abre novas portas. Onde olha e reconhece. Onde é ocasião.
E quando termina, ainda é hora de olhar para os entulhos que ficam. E entendi que é do lixo que mais temos medo. Por isso isso, a gente adia. Porque uma hora ele precisa ser retirado. Às vezes de joelhos, com espátula de ferro, água e muito esforço.
Menos de dois meses depois nosso pai se foi. Teve tempo de vir em casa, e de se perder nas mudanças. Estava confuso, querendo lavar nas mãos na cristaleira e sair pelo painel da sala. Mas se sentou um tempo na varanda, e eu trouxe café para ele. Disse que estava tudo “bom, bonito”, como o Graciliano. Respirou fundo, não entendendo muito o que ia acontecer. Depois, ficou calado. Como sempre ficava para se organizar. E entendi que o silêncio dessa vez de sossego. Como quem têm uma missão cumprida.
E desde então, quando caminho por aqui, penso nele.
E tudo de diferente que merece minha coragem é também por ele.
Eu prometi.
Christiane e Liliane Coelho são irmãs gêmeas. Uma é fotógrafa com alma de escritora. A outra, redatora criativa que está realizando o sonho de escrever seu primeiro livro. 
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