Uma reforma é um paralelo com a vida.
Era 20 dezembro.
Meu computador estava na bancada da cozinha. Alta demais.
Trabalhava 18 horas ali, olhando para aquela bagunça e sentindo poeira nos cabelos, no rosto, nos pés…
6 meses de uma reforma que era para terminar em 1.
Liguei o computador e não queria ouvir música. Não queria letras. Não queria dançar no ritmo de nada. Só queria reagir, mas sabia que se fizesse isso, teria que recomeçar, e talvez com pessoas novas e obra parada. Mais uma vez.
Então, alguma página aberta da máquina carregou de novo, e continuei perdida, pensando como seria trabalhar no dia 24 e ficar longe de todo mundo – de novo – , e ainda, voltar para essa casa que eu não reconhecia.
E uma hora, com música feia de comercial do Youtube, comecei a chorar. Era muito. Era tudo: raiva, cansaço, impotência. Me senti presa a todas as coisas que eu gostava de fazer, e que naquela hora pareciam só obrigação.
Me detestei por ter entendido que fotografar na véspera de Natal seria solução. E doeu quando pensei que o papai havia dito que este seria o último dele.
Então, alguma chave mudou. Uma certeza veio como escrita na minha cabeça: eu não iria mais aceitar ser menos do que poderia. Eu não iria mais ser refém dos medos que eu tinha. O mundo acontecia. Minha profissão. A empresa. Tudo aparentemente ia bem.
E uma reforma em casa me fez perceber que eu não.
Esse negócio de reforma é um paralelo com a vida. Onde a gente cobre e descobre. Onde fortalece a fundação. Onde fecha ou abre novas portas. Onde olha e reconhece. Onde é ocasião.
E quando termina, ainda é hora de olhar para os entulhos que ficam. E entendi que é do lixo que mais temos medo. Por isso isso, a gente adia. Porque uma hora ele precisa ser retirado. Às vezes de joelhos, com espátula de ferro, água e muito esforço.
Menos de dois meses depois nosso pai se foi. Teve tempo de vir em casa, e de se perder nas mudanças. Estava confuso, querendo lavar nas mãos na cristaleira e sair pelo painel da sala. Mas se sentou um tempo na varanda, e eu trouxe café para ele. Disse que estava tudo “bom, bonito”, como o Graciliano. Respirou fundo, não entendendo muito o que ia acontecer. Depois, ficou calado. Como sempre ficava para se organizar. E entendi que o silêncio dessa vez de sossego. Como quem têm uma missão cumprida.
E desde então, quando caminho por aqui, penso nele.
E tudo de diferente que merece minha coragem é também por ele.
Eu prometi.
Soy una entusiasta de los productos naturales y sin duda los de Mondariz unidos a los beneficios de sus aguas deben ir muy buen para la piel. Tallou Marion Londoner
Use them when you are ill, or have some other situation that prevents you from having the time or energy to write quality content. Dina Ian Gerbold
Incredible points. Solid arguments. Keep up the great work. Allison Clim Richart
If some one needs expert view on the topic of running a blog afterward i suggest him/her to visit this weblog, Keep up the pleasant work. Giorgia Gail Woodrow
Right here is the perfect webpage for anyone who hopes tounderstand this topic. Collette Heinrick Scornik
Pretty! This has been an extremely wonderful post. Thank you for supplying this information. Papagena Caldwell Graner
Hey, thanks for the blog. Really looking forward to read more. Really Great. Jacki Fields Sadonia
Do not make this mistake when caring for aloe houseplants. Kirbie Vin Ingra
I for all time emailed this web site post page to all my associates, for the reason that if like to read it next my links will too. Shanda Lamar Whetstone
Some really wonderful info , Sword lily I observed this. Holly-Anne Ferris Hicks
Sweet niecce web site , super layout, real clean and utilize friendly . Hollyanne Pascale Mabelle
I truly appreciate this article. Much thanks again. Cool. Noelyn Lars Marthe
I like the efforts you have put in this, appreciate it for all the great posts. Sharona Ernie Kenrick
Well I sincerely enjoyed reading it. This information provided by you is very useful for good planning. Brianne Augy Blockus
This paragraph will assist the internet people for building up new webpage or even a blog from start to end. Fay Burt Loree
Hi, I do believe this is an excellent site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will return once again since I book-marked
it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and
continue to guide others.
always i used to read smaller content that as well clear
their motive, and that is also happening with this piece of
writing which I am reading now.
I’m not sure where you are getting your info, but great topic.
I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more.
Thanks for great info I was looking for
this information for my mission.
This blog post was fantastic Thanks so much for making it. Natividad Wendel Steinway
Hola amigo eres muy gentil, quisiera saber como hago para comprar por volumen, en cuanto aduanas y todo ese proceso,.como haria para tener.un estimado de.cuanto me valdria la mercancia puesta aca en Colombia, mil gracias por tu ayuda. Siobhan Calhoun Ana
Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your website? My website is in the exact same area of interest as yours and my users would truly benefit from a lot of the information you present here. Please let me know if this okay with you. Thanks a lot! Allison Clim Richart
Pellentesque tristique nisi justo. Mauris quis risus luctus, suscipit dui et, fermentum purus. Margie Patton Cudlip
I just could not leave your site prior to suggesting that I actually loved the standard information an individual supply in your visitors? Is going to be again often in order to investigate cross-check new posts. Alisa Papageno Maryrose
I am really enjoying the theme/design of your web site. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility problems? Ernestine Prinz Kessia
Why people still make use of to read news papers when in this technological globe the whole thing is presented on net?| Emmie Chadd Alleris
I feel anything in moderation is okay anc as you say, right videos and apps should be given to children. Well written post! Margaux Garrick Rey
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this post and the rest of the website is very good. Lyndsie Kerk Vladi
I think the problem for me is the energistically benchmark focused growth strategies via superior supply chains. Compellingly reintermediate mission-critical potentialities whereas cross functional scenarios. Phosfluorescently re-engineer distributed processes without standardized supply chains. Quickly initiate efficient initiatives without wireless web services. Interactively underwhelm turnkey initiatives before high-payoff relationships. Doro Thom Cora
Florida is so beautiful! Big moves can be so overwhelming but I think it helps to have activities in place to make it more comforting and to help adjust. Alidia Torin Ocko
I see something truly interesting about your website so I saved to fav. Caryn Skip Proud
Good luck with your manuscript, Patricia! Fingers and toes crossed. In the meantime, I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving. Dona Darwin Pontius
Thanks again for the article post. Really looking forward to read more. Really Cool. Brigit Bevan Wesa
After looking over a handful of the blog articles on your site, I
really appreciate your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking
back soon. Please visit my website as well and tell me what you
think.
It’s an remarkable paragraph in favor of all the internet people; they will take benefit from it I am sure.
I always spent my half an hour to read this blog’s posts everyday along with a
cup of coffee. ps4 games allenferguson ps4 games
An interesting discussion is worth comment.
I think that you ought to publish more about this subject,
it may not be a taboo matter but generally people don’t discuss these issues.
To the next! All the best!! games ps4 allenferguson games ps4
Wow that was odd. I just wrote an really long comment but after
I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that
over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say great blog!
I am in fact thankful to the owner of this site who has shared this fantastic article at at this place.
Hello Dear, are you genuinely visiting this web site on a regular basis,
if so then you will definitely get good knowledge.
I was recommended this website by my cousin. I’m not
sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble.
You’re amazing! Thanks! asmr 0mniartist
I think this is one of the so much significant info for me.
And i am glad reading your article. But wanna statement on some general things, The site
style is wonderful, the articles is truly nice : D. Excellent activity, cheers
You realⅼy make it ѕeem so easy with your presentation butt I find tuis mаtter to be really somethig which
I think I would never understand. It seems tⲟo complex
andd extremeⅼy broad for me. I’m l᧐oking forward forг
your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
Alsoo visit my site … slot jdb
Hi there to every single one, it’s really a fastidious for me to pay a quick visit this
site, it includes precious Information.
my webpage; playboy2 pc download (918kiss-m.com)
This post is actually a good one it helps new web viewers, who are wishing in favor of blogging.
my homepage – club suncity kiosk; 918kiss-m.com,
What’s up to all, the contents present at this web site are
actually amazing for people knowledge, well, keep up the nice work fellows.
Feel free to surf to my site ntc33 pc (Charlene)
When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and
now each time a comment is added I get four e-mails with the same comment.
Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks!
my web page: greatwall99 game
I’ll immediately snatch your rss as I can not to find
your email subscription link or e-newsletter service.
Do you have any? Please allow me realize in order that I may just subscribe.
Thanks.
Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.
Nonetheless, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be
book-marking and checking back often!
What’s up, this weekend is fastidious designed for me,
for the reason that this time i am reading this wonderful informative piece of writing here at my residence.
At this time I am going away to do my breakfast, later than having
my breakfast coming yet again to read further news.
Highly descriptive blog, I liked that bit. Will there be a part
2?
Thanks in favor of sharing such a good thinking, post is nice, thats why i have read
it entirely
It’s very simple to find out any topic on web as compared to textbooks,
as I found this post at this site.
scoliosis
Do you have a spam issue on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; many of us have
created some nice practices and we are looking to trade methods with others, why not
shoot me an e-mail if interested. scoliosis