Quando eu tinha quase cinco anos, mudamos de casa e de cidade.
O quintal e a fazenda que eu amava ficaram para trás e, para minha sorte, minha mãe e minhas irmãs sempre souberam transformar qualquer casa em lar.
Não demorou para que a gente amasse uma casa que não era nossa. Um quintal de terra vermelha. Um quarto pequeno, onde não havia nada bonito. Uma nova rotina.
Foram tempos estranhos. Minha mãe estava só com quatro filhas e havia muito para fazer.
A vida não costuma pedir licença para se tornar mais difícil e, pouco tempo depois, comecei a desmaiar.
Do nada, eu apagava, como se alguma coisa tivesse se desligado lá dentro. Acordava sem sentir nada, como se tivesse dormido uma noite inteira.
As crises ficaram mais frequentes. As idas ao médico e as viagens para fazer exames também. Em um deles, descobriram que eu tinha os tímpanos perfurados. Foi a minha primeira cirurgia.
Lembro, até hoje, da minha mãe chorando ao me levarem. Aquele choro significava tantas coisas.
Depois dele, muitas coisas ficaram diferentes. Descobri o motivo dos desmaios, passei sete anos em tratamento, mudei de cidade e, nesse tempo, rio, piscina e cachoeira se tornaram proibidos.
Toda a tristeza e solidão que minha mãe enfrentou ao longo da vida se transformaram em força e sabedoria, mas também em medo e excesso de cuidado.
Por causa disso, entre outras coisas, não aprendi a nadar. Até hoje, eu e a água nos olhamos esquisito. Eu sei que só posso ir até onde dá pé. Ela sabe que tenho medo de me afogar.
Talvez por isso, eu tenha sempre mergulhado em outras coisas. Começando por mim mesma.
Dizem que, quando nos tornamos pais, um dos erros mais graves é tentar compensar nossas ausências nos filhos. É um exercício para mim evitar isso. Nem sempre consigo.
Miguel começou a nadar aos quatro anos. Logo depois de fazer uma cirurgia para vencer uma garganta sempre inflamada. Ele ainda não sabe nadar direito, mas quero que aprenda. Em troca, prometi que vou aprender também.
É que na vida a gente precisa ter coragem de enfrentar o que nos impede de ir mais longe. E, no meu caso, de ir mais fundo. ❤️
Christiane e Liliane Coelho são irmãs gêmeas. Uma é fotógrafa com alma de escritora. A outra, redatora criativa que está realizando o sonho de escrever seu primeiro livro. 
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