Moramos numa fazenda onde nosso pai trabalhava.
Ficava na beira da estrada e não tinha muros em volta da casa. Tinha um fogão à lenha e dois quartos novos quando a gente chegou.
Não era um lugar bonito, lembrando hoje, mas era um que me dava horizontes.
Eu olhava para um lado e tinha estrada. Pro outro tinha um rio, uma ponte…
Do lado da casa tinha um barracão de madeira, construído um nível acima. Precisava subir um degrau de escada, e a parte de baixo, deixava os pequenos animais abrigados.
Me lembro do cheiro – uma mistura de milho, poeira e couro. Era lá que guardavam as comidas para as vacas, e selas e tudo que os cavalos precisavam.
As madeiras do piso faziam barulho quando a gente pisava. Algumas cediam e ficavam soltas, sem os pregos.
E uma delas a gente conseguia remover. Era onde a conseguíamos ouvir os gatinhos bebês miando. Eles nasciam ali. E os bebês pintinhos também.
Não sei dizer o motivo do fascínio da gente por eles. Mas eu amava quando a mamãe ficava brava dizendo que “outra galinha iria chocar”.
Quando isso acontece, elas param de botar os ovos e ficam ali, estáticas, por muito tempo, chocando os ovos. Aquecendo com tamanha devoção que eu não entendia como elas comiam e faziam outras coisas.
Esperava ansiosamente os pintinhos nascerem. E vê-los nascer, uma das coisas mais incríveis que lembro da nossa infância. Como eles cabiam ali? Como tão pequenos eles tinham forças para bicar , do lado de dentro e quebrar essa casca dura e seca? E finalmente sair.
Eles eram nossos bichinhos de estimação. Entre entre tantos milagres da simplicidade, o que eu mais amava testemunhar ali.
Outro dia nossa mãe estava em casa, e sem querer, topou com uma foto do nosso pai dentro da carteira. Não lembrava dela e por isso, pegou, olhou demorado e disse: “meu amor, queria tanto você de volta”. Não gosto de chorar perto dela. Ela se preocupa muito.
Então, corri e peguei o celular., procurando alguma piada na internet para ela se distrair. Não achei nada que desse alegria ali. Me lembrei do Youtube e escrevi: “pintinhos nascendo”. Abriu um vídeo. E ela começou a olhar, e sorriu. Começou a contar das coisas.
Nesse dia o Animal Planet virou assinatura aqui em casa. E é o canal preferido dela.
Não me lembrei disso à toa. Também ando muito preocupada com 2021.
2020 está aqui mas essas mudanças todas não acabam por agora.
Vamos ter muita coisa pra entregar em 2021, eu sei.
E 2020 é nossa chance. Tudo que temo.s. É triste e doído demais.
Chega a ser física essa dor de incertezas, de perdas… Mas é nele nossa preparação para hoje.
E para 2021, nem se fala.
Estamos saindo da casca.
E como os pintinhos, vamos dar conta.
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